| RELATED INFO |
| * Purdue University College of Education |
| * Purdue Office of Engagement |
December 1, 2008
Purdue program helps grieving families
WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. - |
The BRIDGe, which stands for By Remembering I Develop and Grow, has worked with 14 families that have experienced the death of an immediate family member. The program was developed in 2006 by Heather Servaty-Seib, an associate professor of educational studies in the College of Education who is a counseling psychologist and specializes in grief and bereavement.
"The BRIDGe allows bereaved family members to connect with other grieving families and share their stories," Servaty-Seib said. "The biggest success for me has been the fact that the families within each session continue to keep in touch with one another. The mothers will meet for coffee or lunch and get their kids together to play. It means a lot that they have continued the connection that the BRIDGe allowed them to build with each other."
The next session of BRIDGe will meet from 6-8 p.m. Feb. 24 at Klondike Elementary School in West Lafayette and continue weekly through April 28. Servaty-Seib said families that benefit most are at least two months away from their death loss so that the initial shock of the experience is lessened.
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Each evening will begin with a complimentary dinner followed by support group meetings categorized by age group. Groups are held for children 5-8 years old, 9-12 years old, 13-18 years old, and parents and caregivers. The program, which is free and open to any family willing to meet weekly, can accommodate as many as 12 families, depending upon their size.
The sessions provide information on grief, but the primary focus is on facilitating group members in their support of one another. Family members also are encouraged to learn more about their own grief so they can more easily communicate with other family members about their experiences.
Liz Mercier and her family participated in BRIDGe in 2006 after losing their 13-month-old son Henry Beckett. Henry had a heart defect and died from a stroke 46 days after receiving a heart transplant. Liz said the program helped them become closer during a traumatic time.
"The BRIDGe program was really life-saving for us," Mercier said. "It is the only program in the area that incorporates the entire family in the grieving process. We all lost Henry Beckett. We were all suffering that loss."
Mercier said other grieving families could identify with their painful journey.
"There is no way to convey how important it was to grieve together with other families," Mercier said. "There is an implicit understanding of the emotional toll and the day-to-day struggles. These were truly the people whom we felt safest opening up to and with whom we felt the most comfortable. Even now, three years into our grief, we still feel closest to the friends we made in BRIDGe."
As a part of the group sessions, children and teenagers engage in a variety of craft activities such as making collages, writing poetry and decorating a memory pillow. For adults, the focus is on discussing their thoughts and feelings.
"We did a beautiful exit ceremony of sorts where we wrote messages to our lost loved ones and floated those messages in a little candlelit pond on the grounds of Klondike School," Mercier said. "I will never forget the candlelight, the feelings of intense anguish, but also the feeling of complete comfort and safety around us."
Parents also learn about how children and teenagers grieve differently from adults.
"Children understand death differently because of their level of cognitive and emotional development," Servaty-Seib said. "It's very difficult for a child to be sad or angry for long periods of time, so they tend to grieve in chunks. They also move through grief as they develop."
Servaty-Seib also said the BRIDGe offers a welcoming environment for children who have suffered a loss. Often, these children feel differently than their peers and are afraid of being perceived as different, so connecting with children who also experienced death losses helps them realize that they are not alone, she said.
"Henry's brothers, Sam and Owen, count the two children nearest their ages from BRIDGe among their very closest friends," Mercier said. "There is a connection to these friends that is qualitatively different from other friendships."
Graduate students enrolled in the College of Education's counseling programs lead the sessions. They have received special training in grief and bereavement and are supervised by licensed counselors.
Children or teenagers attending the program must be accompanied by at least one parent or caregiver who will attend the parent/caregiver group. Child care will be provided for children under age 5.
All families will participate in an initial meeting with one of the BRIDGe staff in which background information will be obtained and more details about the program will be provided. Interested families can contact Servaty-Seib at (765) 494-9738, servaty@purdue.edu.
Writer: Marydell Forbes, (765) 496-7704, mforbes@purdue.edu
Sources: Heather Servaty-Seib, (765) 494-9738, servaty@purdue.edu
Liz Mercier (765) 463-9383, mercierl2004@yahoo.com
Purdue News Service: (765) 494-2096; purduenews@purdue.edu
PHOTO CAPTION:
The Mercier family (from bottom left counterclockwise: Henry Beckett, Owen, Bill, Sam and Liz) of West Lafayette, Ind., poses for a photo in Cincinnati Children's Hospital. Henry Beckett had a heart defect and died from a stroke 46 days after receiving a heart transplant. The family participated in the first session of a Purdue support program for grieving families called the BRIDGe, which stands for By Remembering I Develop and Grow. A new session of the program will begin Feb. 24. (Photo contributed)
A publication-quality photo is available at https://www.purdue.edu/uns/images/+2008/mercier-family.jpg
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