Nature Has Balance: By Maurina Baker
I believe my portion of the trip was punctuated by high and lows – both physically and in the moments of realizations for myself. The first day- like most days we’ve had in Paris has been picturesque. The temperature pleasant, the clouds non-existent and the breeze ever so often to keep us cool and from sweating.
The day started with a walk around the Notre Dame and a brief lesson on LGBTQ Rights in France- such as the policies on marriage, adoptions and the current issues that are currently being fought for such as trans rights. After our site visit we walked to the Memorial to the Martyrs of the Deportation. The memorial requires you to walk through a small park and down steep stairs with high walls that lead to an open courtyard that is almost at the sea level. While the courtyard is open, the walls made me feel small, trapped and close to suffocation. The area is beautiful but stark and uninviting, no breeze breaking through the walls and gives you the deepest sense of isolation- even the noise of the street is almost silenced in the courtyard. The courtyard gives way to a small narrow hall that you can walk into and see inscriptions in French on the walls and straight ahead there is a hallway behind bars with small beams of lights and a large black box with flowers on it. The box contains the ashes victims of the death camps. In those moments watching the light reflect off 200,000 mirrors meant to symbolize the lives of people who were murdered brought all of history and knowledge I had to a stunning and complete halt- as I realized how unfathomable it was that 200,000 lives let alone over 6 million lives were taken by such a horrible regime.
The knowledge is only reinforced by our next visit to the Memorial of the Shoah. There the entrance directly leads to The Wall of Names- a listing of all Jews that were deported from France Reading the names drove the reality of the atrocity home. Names of people I have never met- the first name I can focus on was person born in 1922. Seeing my age, 22, a joy they would never know. A journey through the Memorial continues to bring life to a piece of history I’ve learned about my entire life, as I watch clips of film from the time and see uniforms that were worn in the death camps. Leaving the memorials for the day, was almost like coming up for air. The solemn air that seemed to choke all the words in my throat in the memorial seemed to blow away with the Parisian breeze, the sun warming us to provide comfort.
We also spend some of the day talking with a professor of Sociology, Dr. Jean Beaman, about the politics of race, gender and sexuality in France. She offers us wonderful insight and talks about how identity politics and how they interact throughout the nation.
The next day we went to visit places that have inspired art, movies and music heard across the world. The Moulin Rouge- a site that has created its own dance style and is home to sexual liberation. Even now the Pigalle remains a site important to the sex tourism industry even as large white tour buses pass though the streets and families stroll down the sidewalk with their small children basking in the weather.
Our next stop is to the Montmartre- where I chose to climb an absurd amount of steps- there is literally a sign for when you hit the 253rd step. The steps stand proudly and somewhat intimidating and at a certain point I concede to myself that jeans were a terrible idea- but I make it to the top. The view from the top is a lot to absorb. It seems like I am physically on top of everything Paris in all of its beauty is laid bare for me to take in. Toni Morrison once said “At some point in life the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It is enough.” This was one of those moments.
However, I still took a picture because I needed to make this blog post.
Walking around the mountain was an awesome experience there were artists doing live painting to sell either of famous Paris sights or a portrait of a customer, many people played live music on the streets. It was easy to see why the place attracted so many artists, the view and atmosphere was storybook. The spirit of inspiration and relaxation seemed to hit me with every breeze.
For dinner, we had dinner with the the Couvent de Paname house of Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. There we met with 3 of them and they gave us history lessons- particularly on the church that is on the mountain of the Montmartre which was built using the tax money from Parians’ after they tried to rebel and become independent during the commune. Having dinners with the sister was a delightful experience as they shared personal stories and gave insight into daily life for queer people in Paris.
I have sat at the table for a while contemplating how to put in words the joys and heartbreak I have experienced in the last few days of the trip. The words that best sum my thoughts of the last few days have come from Sister Rose of the Couvent de Paname Sisters “Nature has balance – if you have the worst you will also have the best”. While at the times the words uttered over a large helping of goat cheese and prosciutto did not appear to be particularly powerful but as I drink my tea and watch the lights play out over the streets, they give me a great sense of peace.