Until There’s None

Until There’s None

By Gabriella Renee

Hello all my name is Gabriella Renee and I have the pleasure of telling you about my experiences at the Solidays music festival here in Paris, France. I am a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, and that is the capacity in which I spent my Solidays. Thus, I will retell my adventures as Postulant Sister Bernice Lynne Monroe, or BLM. (For more information about the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, visit https://www.thesisters.org/become-a-nun)

Our study abroad cohort was afforded many special opportunities this trip some were a total surprise to all of us, and some were completely planned as they were written into the syllabus Solidays was one of the special opportunities that was written into the course. It also happened to be one of the things that I was most looking forward to on this trip as a young up and coming Sister, this was to be my first international sister event. I don’t want to bore you with the details of my manifestation. I will, however, leave you with a photograph and quote from Sister Faegela, “Your face looks like an exploded trans pride flag,” which was my aim as I am a Transfemme identifying person. Sometimes, it can be difficult to parse out to folx that, yes I do participate in drag but I don’t “do” drag. I am a girl who had a heart for the ministry and joined the Sisters.

The initial Solidays staging area was a bit of a blur for me. I was met by a sea of friendly faces all welcoming me to Paris and welcoming me to Solidays. Thanking me for manifesting with them and embracing me and just making me feel like I have known them for my entire life. In this moment I had a flashback to my first ever manifestation, and while I had a smile on my face most of the evening inside I was shaking like a leaf. But this time I was bold and comfortable and home. I was just so touched and yet slightly confused that they were honored, overjoyed, and thankful that I would come from Indiana to participate in Mass with them. We rehearsed and then it was time to break bread. We are people of the cloth, we have to break bread.  4PM came quicker than I thought it would and before I realized it I was backstage, a new Nun still Sister Bernice but with a renewed calling. I will try my best to be give you a brief translation of the history of the Mass and why it is so important. The Grand Mass touches on the Stonewall Riots, The Founding of the Sisters in San Francisco, the rights of sex workers, PrEP, ending the stigma surrounding queer identities, suicide within the queer community, HIV/AID’s awareness and treatment and sex positivity among many other things. All of this with a unique sister flair. It is a main event at Solidays that thousands of participants attend.

But the Mass was not all smiles for me. Near the end of all of the sisters got together in the middle of the stage and Sister Rose of Paname lead us in signing “You are my Sister” by Antony and the Johnsons. Suddenly it dawned on me that I was on stage with 30+ different Nuns from all over the world; that they in fact were my Sisters. I began to cry.  I somehow found the ability to hold back tears through “I Will Follow Him”. We performed a Glitter Blessing for the entire audience and soon enough the Mass was over. After the curtain call I found Sister Rose and wept in her arms and thanked her for the opportunity. She said that she should be the one thanking me. “Welcome home, baby,” she embraced me.

From the Mass we were whisked over to the AIDS Memorial Quilts. We were a little off schedule as sisters are never quite on time. The quilts were already unfolded and that is when it truly hit me again that I was on hallowed ground. As the ceremony began we lifted up the Quilt and began to walk it in a circle as the names of the deceased were read I cried the entire ceremony some out of sorrow some out of realizing the great responsibility I have to carry the torch. The ceremony reminded of my initial calling into the ministry. Even though it broke my heart it also re-lit my fire to continue to live the mission statement:

THE PROMULGATION OF UNIVERSAL JOY AND THE EXPIATION OF STIGMATIC GUILT

In whatever forms that may be.

 

AIDS Memorial Quilt Ceremony at Solidays

 

 

Navigating  PrEP

Today we got to meet with a former ACT UP Paris member and current AIDeS PrEP Navigator Tom Craig.  We learned about his history of activism through ACT UP which eventually lead him to his full time position with AIDeS. The AIDeS organization was founded in 1984 at a time when having HIV was a death sentence. They were an all-volunteer organization that aimed to help make life a bit more comfortable for gay men who were excommunicated from families or evicted from their homes.

But that all changed in mid-1990’s with the creation of the cocktail. As folks began to recover and HIV was no longer a certain death warrant, less folks were active in AIDeS much like ACT UP and numbers began to drop. While there have been many things that have gotten people moving in and out of activism the biggest issue at hand currently is the topic of PrEP and who should have access to it but more importantly who should be funding the access to this life saving drug. We learned that in just the next few days Tom plans to have a meeting with Anti-PrEP people and hopefully come to some agreement that can help stave the number of new infections in Paris. One could ask why would anyone want to keep someone off of these potentially lifesaving drugs. Tom went on to talk about the stigma that accompanies the medication here. There is also some left over hurt in the gay community over the poor side effects of the HIV medication Azidothymidine (AZT).

Meeting Tom Craig at Le Spot – one of the many centers operated by the AIDES Organization around Paris

But this talk was not a lecture and Tom fielded a lot of questions one topic that seemed to touched on in many different questions was who is his target audience for PrEP and general sexual health information and HIV texting? Tom informed us that his main audience for PrEP are MSM (Men who have Sex with Men), migrant men and migrant women. But, he also made it very clear that it is not just as simple as getting on PrEP and that being the end of your worries. As a person who takes PrEP I know that with the medication comes the required need to have access to adequate health care. Every three months I have to have blood work done to check my liver levels as one of the known side effects of PrEP is potential liver damage which is heightened for me as a trans girl since I am on estrogen and testosterone blockers. So I found it very refreshing to hear him say that AIDeS goes past just the lets get folx on PrEP message that some other organizations may present and furthers the conversation of the need for adequate health care for everyone. My fellow cohort members were also very interested the different ways that AMAB (assigned male at birth) folx can take PrEP the continuous or daily schedule in which most people currently take PrEP or it can be taken On demand  ( according a physician’s indication). The on demand use of the medication consist of taking of a three day dosage. 2 PrEP at least 2 hours before your first sexual encounter. The second dose is one pill is 24 hours +/- 2 hours after the first does. The third dose is one pill 24 hour +/- 2 hours after the second dose. It was really helpful to learn this information and to be able to take it back to communities where people aren’t in positions to be able to afford PrEP every month or are not that sexually active but still want to be protected.

Tom was great and I think some members of my cohort will benefit greatly from having met him today. Who knows I could have been sitting in the room with the person who invents the cure for AIDS it could even be you