July 20, 2006

Here are nine story ideas for magazine editors working on Christmas and holiday-related stories this summer. Holiday topics include coping with grief, being excluded from events, avoiding stress, healthy eating, Charles Dickens, buying gifts online, selecting age-appropriate video games and keeping pets safe.

Family and Friends

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — The holidays are a joyous time for most, but for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one, the usually festive time of year can be a painful reminder.

"Traditionally it is a time of family, friends and laughter, but for people who are in the grieving process, the holidays can enhance feelings of personal grief and separate us from what used to make us happy," says Cynthia Bozich-Keith, a clinical assistant professor in Purdue University's School of Nursing.

She says there are several things a grieving person can do to help get through the holidays, including:

• Be gentle with yourself. Be sure to take time out to care for yourself, whether it is through pampering or just slowing down your pace.

• Be sure to follow a nutritious diet, exercise, get adequate sleep and avoid alcohol.

• Talk about your feelings with people you love and who love you. Allow yourself the right to talk about the person who died. The process of sharing memories may help with the healing process.

• Set limits. Be realistic about the difference between what you want to do, what you can do and what you should do. "The shoulds will get you every time," Bozich-Keith says. "It's important to let go of the need to be perfect or doing it all. If you're used to doing all of the shopping, cooking and decorating around the holidays, perhaps this is the year to share those things with others."

• Don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself around the holidays. "It is not disrespectful to the memory of your loved one if you have a good time," she says. "Your loved one would be happy to know you are enjoying yourself."

• Embrace your memories and find comfort in them. "This is the bittersweet part," she says. "Our memories often bring us to both tears and laughter, but they are what sustain us through the years."

• Celebrate life. Attend a holiday or religious service if faith is part of your life. Some people find comfort in acts of remembrance, such as donating a poinsettia in memory of a loved one at church or making a donation in their name to a charity. Also, recognize that it is acceptable to create new traditions.

Bozich-Keith says it is important to keep in mind that sadness is normal during the holidays, no matter how long ago the loss took place.

"Try to ride the wave of emotions and accept that feelings of sadness and pain are unavoidable and are heightened during certain times," she says. "The intense feelings will pass, but grief is an ongoing process. Don't ever expect closure. It gets easier with time, but there will always be an empty space at the table."

Writer: Kim Medaris, (765) 494-6998, kmedaris@purdue.edu

Source: Cynthia Bozich-Keith, (765) 494-4026, bozichke@purdue.edu

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Busy holiday schedules can make it difficult to manage work and family responsibilities, but the director of Purdue University's Center for Families says it can be a great time to build relationships.

"Holiday-related school pageants, gift shopping and extra work events can add pressure to an already busy schedule," says Shelley MacDermid, professor of child development and family studies. "But it's a great time to remember that some of the most special family memories arise out of everyday activities."

Families should focus on finding enjoyment in the process of getting ready for the holidays, she says. Tree decorating, card writing and cookie baking can become a family ritual and create great memories by turning work into fun.

"Quality time doesn't have to be a big production," she says. "Try to resist the pressure to make everything perfect."

Holiday stress also can arise when relatives get together who don't see each other often, but MacDermid says it's a great time for families to develop relationships and learn about their history. Stimulate conversations by asking older family members about their school years, how they met their partners and what their mother liked to cook.

"Books and Web sites are available that provide suggestions for questions to get the ball rolling," MacDermid says. "Do some homework before the holiday and have some materials on hand to help keep conversations running smoothly. And don't forget to record the answers, either on paper or video, to pass on to future generations."

Writer: Maggie Morris, (765) 494-2432, maggiemorris@purdue.edu

Source: Shelley MacDermid, (765) 494-6026, shelley@purdue.edu (preferred contact)

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Holiday Grinches who exclude themselves from parties or gift exchanges may be doing so in self-defense, pre-empting the possibility that family and friends will ignore or disappoint them, says a Purdue University social psychologist.

In doing so, however, these Grinches only increase their chances of being excluded, says Kipling D. Williams, a professor of psychological sciences who studies ostracism.

"During the holidays, there are high expectations about getting together with family, celebrating with friends and gift-giving at the office or with neighbors," he says. "As a result, people are more sensitive. They may avoid or not reply to phone calls from friends or develop a negative attitude, all in an effort to make being ostracized less hurtful, but more inevitable."

Williams says that because expectations are high during the holiday season, people should try to be aware of neighbors, friends or co-workers who may be overlooked when making holiday plans.

The "cold shoulder" or "silent treatment" can cause emotional or physical harm by activating the part of the brain that detects pain, Williams says.

"Unfortunately, family members provide some of the most hurtful examples of ostracism," he says. "For instance, I have seen sisters who haven't talked to each other for 10 years or adult children who avoid their parents. That's unhealthy for everyone. Instead, people need to mend relationships with relatives and make it clear that you are a family."

Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, (765) 494-9723, apatterson@purdue.edu

Source: Kipling Williams, (765) 494-0845, kip@psych.purdue.edu

Food

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — When families get together for the holidays, they tend to eat foods high in calories and fat, but a Purdue University foods and nutrition expert says that's not necessarily wrong.

"If people look forward to and really enjoy the foods common this time of year, they should relax and enjoy them," says associate professor Olivia Bennett Wood. "Some of these traditions are very strong in families, and people have a choice whether or not to break with tradition for these one or two meals per year."

But for those watching their weight, the six weeks from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day can be a time to dread. Wood says the best way to enter the season is to have a plan. For example, adding 10-15 minutes to an exercise routine or extra thought to holiday meal planning, can help prevent weight gain. Also, before attending a party or dinner, take time to eat small, nutritious snacks to prevent eating on an empty stomach at the party, she says.

"With these simple game plans, people can be more conscious of their nutritional habits during the festive season," Wood says. "Let hors d'oeuvres be your meal, and let the early party be supper. Take a selected item and move away from the table of food. Also, be aware of unconscious eating while near food. Don't be the person who reaches unconsciously into the peanut dish all night."

When planning a holiday meal, the host needs to remember there are some guests who are watching their weight. Provide some foods that are lower in calories, such as fresh vegetables with or without a dip, sparkling water, diet sodas and fresh fruit.

"Don't be a food or alcohol pusher," Wood says. "Don't equate the amount eaten at your party with whether it's a success."

An elegant approach versus a multiple food approach will dress up a party and help guests get into the holiday spirit.

Some simple ideas are:

• Spend the money normally used for multiple food items to set an elegant table.

• Splurge for fresh flowers and a good bottle of wine.

• Bring out the best dishes and light the candles.

• Plan one special entrée, one colorful vegetable and one starchy one, a fresh salad with a vinaigrette versus a creamy dressing, fresh homemade rolls and an elegant dessert.

• Dress up the vegetables. Toss toasted walnuts or pecans on the green vegetables.

• Serve the dessert later after a walk.

Writer: Maggie Morris, (765) 494-2432, maggiemorris@purdue.edu

Source: Olivia Wood, (765) 494-8238, woodo@purdue.edu

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Overindulging in food, drink and celebration during the Christmas season would make Charles Dickens proud, says a Purdue University English professor.

"Not only did Charles Dickens jam his novels, such as 'A Christmas Carol' with food and drink, but he also made the most of the holiday season himself," says William J. Palmer, an English professor who studies Charles Dickens and film.

"His home was always decorated with greenery and mistletoe before Thanksgiving, and his Christmas parties were legendary. Many relatives traveled to spend the holiday season with him and his 10 children."

Dickens (1812-70) published "A Christmas Carol" in 1843. The story is about a wealthy London miser, Ebenezer Scrooge, who is visited on Christmas Eve by three spirits who warn him that his lack of charity and kindness will lead to an eternity of suffering.

Even though Dickens is known as the father of the modern Christmas, his 18 novels were about poverty and people who couldn't afford such lavish celebrations. Dickens' poor characters often reflected his own life story of growing up poor and working the streets at age 9 when his father was put in debtors' prison.

"He loved the season because he didn't have Christmas growing up," Palmer says. "This is why his novels are rich with details about food, such as the sweet breads, delicacies and fruits that shape the cornucopia of the second ghost in 'A Christmas Carol.' Also, think about the very first thing Ebenezer Scrooge did in the story to make everything right Christmas morning. He ordered the biggest turkey in town to send to his poor employee Bob Cratchit.

"Dickens really meant it when he had Tiny Tim say, 'Every day should be Christmas.'"

Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, (765) 494-9723, apatterson@purdue.edu

Source: William J. Palmer, (765) 494-3729, wjpalmer@purdue.edu

Pets

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — The holidays are a time for families and friends, but Lorraine Corriveau, a wellness veterinarian at Purdue University's School of Veterinary Medicine, cautions that they aren't without risks for animal companions.

Corriveau offers her top-10 list for helping pets and owners make it through the holidays:

1. Visitors — Pets can become overexcited, confused or frightened by the onslaught of holiday guests. Keep pets in a quiet part of the house and make sure they have a safe retreat from children and well-intentioned visitors. Keep your pet's bed or kennel in a safe place and be sure guests know it's off limits.

2. Chocolate — Chocolate, which contains theobromine, is a serious pet-poisoning risk, especially for dogs. Bittersweet and baking chocolate, the kinds found in kitchens during the holidays, contain more theobromine than the average candy bar. If a dog eats chocolate, call a veterinarian or the Animal Poison Control Center immediately.

3. Tinsel — Cats and kittens seem to find shiny tinsel especially appealing. If eaten, thin pieces of string or tinsel can cause the intestines to bunch up, and can even cut through the intestinal wall. Either could be fatal.

4. Electric cords — Light strands, loose wires and electric cords can be a serious hazard to your pet. Some animals, especially puppies, may chew cords and put themselves at risk of serious burns or electric shock.

5. Noisemakers —To the sensitive ears of pets, fireworks, horns, bells and whistles can be extremely frightening. Make sure pets are in a safe place away from the noise and that they can't escape the house or yard. If fireworks are a particular problem around holidays such as New Year's Eve, talk to a veterinarian about getting some tranquilizers to help the pet.

6. Ornaments — Help prevent breaks and mishaps by keeping weighty ornaments close to the floor and valuable ornaments and family heirlooms out of reach from curious mouths, noses and wagging tails. Keep knick-knacks on shelves inaccessible to animals. Also, make sure trees are tethered to a nearby wall or window frame for ferrets or cats that like to climb.

7. Candles — Candles should never be left burning unattended. Flames and shadows thrown by candles are tantalizing to pets. Make sure lit candles are always kept a safe distance from pets.

8. Decorative plants — Some plants and greenery such as holly, ivy and mistletoe can be very tempting but are toxic to pets. Keep all decorative plants out of reach or out of the home.

9. Overeating — Stick to a normal diet. Table scraps, garbage raiding and counter surfing can lead to upset stomachs. Too much rich food for your pets can lead to serious inflammation of the pancreas, which can be life-threatening.

10. New pets — There's no time worse than the holidays to bring a new pet into the home, but many people surprise a loved one with a new puppy or kitten on Christmas morning. The excitement can cause a new pet to be confused or overstimulated. Wait until the week after the holiday, and then puppy- or kitten-proof the house so the pet can be introduced into a quiet, safe environment. Don't forget to ask a veterinarian for advice on selecting a new pet.

Writer: Maggie Morris, (765) 494-2432, maggiemorris@purdue.edu

Sources: Lorraine Corriveau, (765) 494-7789, corrivea@purdue.edu

Kevin Doerr, director of alumni relations and public affairs at the veterinary school, (765) 494-8216, doerrkr@purdue.edu

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Giving a cat or dog for the holidays requires the giver to do their homework to ensure the pet is a welcome family addition, says a Purdue University ethics expert.

"A child may ask for a puppy or a kitten or it may sound like the perfect gift for a girlfriend, but there is a tremendous amount of thought and planning that needs to take place before adopting a pet," says Mark Bernstein, philosophy professor and the Joyce and Edward E. Brewer Chair in Applied Ethics.

Whether the pet is a Christmas gift or adopted any other time of year, Bernstein says it is important to focus on the correct pairing between human and animal.

"A child may want a border collie, but he or she may not know that border collies need an exceptional amount of exercise," he says. "The child must be willing to take the dog on many more walks than most dogs. And if the owner does not have time to make sure the dog receives the appropriate amount of exercise, or the person does not enjoy long walks, then a border collie is not the right breed for this family."

Bernstein says it also is important to remember that being a pet owner is about responsibility and that animals can be costly. Veterinary bills can be expensive, and caring for a cat or dog can be a large time investment.

"Whoever is taking on the responsibility for the pet needs to remember that this animal is a member of the family," says Bernstein, who has a cat and dog.

Bernstein also encourages potential pet owners to select a cat or dog from an animal shelter.

"People who say they want a pure breed may not realize that 20 to 25 percent of animals in shelters are purebreds," he says. "Supporting shelters can help prevent unnecessary breeding and reduce the population at the shelter. People may not realize that between 2 to 4 million animals are killed every year at pounds throughout the United States."

Even though kittens or puppies are often people's first choice, Bernstein says there are many advantages to selecting an older pet. For example, the animal is less likely to be frisky and more likely to be housebroken.

"Plus, puppies and kittens are much more likely to be adopted, so by choosing an older pet you are really saving two animals."

If giving an animal turns out not to be the best option, one might consider the life-saving alternative of making a donation to a local animal shelter in another person's name, he says.

Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, (765) 494-9723, apatterson@purdue.edu

Source: Mark Bernstein, (765) 494-4295, mbernste@cla.purdue.edu

Gifts and Shopping

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Online shopping may help holiday procrastinators with gift buying, but a Purdue University expert has additional tips gift-givers can use when they find themselves on a tight deadline.

Sorin Matei, assistant professor of communication, says purchasing gifts from Web sites can be more convenient, but buying a poor-quality product can tarnish the thought that counts.

Here are Matei's tips for buying online:

• Always check out a computer, electronic device or appliance on a review Web site, such as Cnet.com or ConsumerReports.org. Make sure reviewers are not associated with the manufacturer.

• Compare professional reviews with consumer reviews. The truth is often somewhere between, Matei says.

• Look for clues in the product description and reviews to see if the product is easy to use or assemble.

• Pay attention to reviews that criticize the product. Even if nine out of 10 reviews are positive, look closely at the one that is not. One out of 10 represents 10 percent, and that can be interpreted as 10 percent of users aren't satisfied with the product.

• Use a basic Google search. You never know what you may find.

Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, (765) 494-9723, apatterson@purdue.edu

Source: Sorin Matei, (765) 494-7780, smatei@purdue.edu

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Adults who are not familiar with video and computer games should be cautious about what they buy children this holiday season, says a Purdue University video game expert.

"In a perfect world, video games would be rated in terms of content and complexity," says Samantha Blackmon, an assistant professor of English who studies representations of race and gender in video games. "But the content of video games can be surprising. I recently played a football video game that was rated mature, which is similar to an R rating for a movie, and I never thought a football game would receive that kind of rating. But it did because of the foul language used by the commentator."

Blackmon says young children will often imitate the language they hear, and they also will draw conclusions about how to relate to people based on how they see people in the games.

"That's why it is important for adults to take an interest in the games children play," says Blackmon, who owns more than a dozen video game systems and hundreds of games. "Plus, video games can be used as a teaching tool. In my house, we play games with closed captioning and turn the sound off. The subtitles not only improve reading comprehension but also help with reading speed."

Here are some other buying tips:

• Visit the game developer's Web site to view trailers for specific games. These trailers, just like for movies, will help give you a feel for the game.

• When at a gaming store, ask if you can play the game. If you are not a video game player, then ask someone who works there to demonstrate the game for you.

• Unless a child is going to be supervised, avoid role-playing games utilizing the Internet to connect the players. You don't know what the other players are going to do, which can very quickly change the content of games.

• Even if buying a game for a specific teenager, be aware if there are other children in the house. A game may be suitable for a 17-year-old, but chances are the 8-year-old will be playing it, too. Look for games that are appropriate for all ages.

• Pay attention to the video game rating system, which is explained by the Entertainment Software Rating Board. It is more complicated than the motion picture code.

• Look for video games that involve puzzles or quests. These types of games teach and offer logic challenges rather than just entertain.

• Before buying the latest system, make sure age-appropriate games are available for that console.

Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, (765) 494-9723, apatterson@purdue.edu

Source: Samantha Blackmon, (765) 494-3742, sblackmon@cla.purdue.edu

Purdue News Service: (765) 494-2096; purduenews@purdue.edu

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