Moving? Making friends key to turning new house into a home
June 11, 2012
WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Whether someone relocates a fewmiles or states away, meeting new neighbors and friends is just as vital asunpacking, says a Purdue University communication expert.
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"Americans generally fail to count the relationalcost of a geographic relocation," says Glenn Sparks, professor ofcommunication. "People moving may feel like they don't have time becausethey are trying to anchor their new lives, but those relocating this summershould think carefully about this aspect of their life as soon as they can.There are many ways to keep in touch with the friends left behind, but textingand social media don't capture real conversation. And conversation is thetapestry that keeps us healthy because it truly keeps us connected to otherpeople."
Tips for reaching out after moving:
* Mute phone and notifications: Leave the phone inside tocharge while outside introducing yourself to neighbors.
* Take advantage of the weather and spend more timeoutside - the front yard, park or community festival - to meet people.
* Go offline: Limit the time spent on Facebook and othersites connecting with old friends. Instead, look for local communitygroups.
* Learn from children: Children make friends easier thanadults, and there are opportunities to meet other parents at children-centeredactivities.
"It takes effort to establish these new face-to-facerelationships, but they are crucial for daily well-being," says Sparks,who is co-author of "Refrigerator Rights: Our Crucial Need for CloseConnection."
Sparks, and the book's co-author, Will Miller, say thatbecause people are moving farther and more regularly, there is a greater voidin face-to-face relationships.
"We are losing conversation, because the value ofconversation is being dropped with electronic technology," Sparks says."Face-to-face conversation is the grist of building relationships."
In 2009 the American Community Survey reported that morethan 15 percent of the population had moved. The survey also reported thatyoung adults ages 18-29 were the most mobile group of the U.S. population.
Sparks says those who see new people moving into theirneighborhoods or buildings are not excluded from this message.
"People already settled have home court advantage, sotake the time to greet new neighbors," Sparks says. "Just make apoint to spend a few minutes each night outside instead of rushing into an airconditioned house to check email or Facebook."
Writer: Amy Patterson Neubert, 765-494-9723,apatterson@purdue.edu
Source: Glenn Sparks, gsparks@purdue.edu
